Please Choose Life Not Suicide

Courtesy of 19SeventySixCoaching

I consider myself lucky and I’m grateful. This week I had all of my kids together at the same table when I asked all of them point blank if they were suicidal what they should do if they ever felt that way. My girls looked at me with surprised shock and my son said, “Mom, that’s something that I wouldn’t do. You would kill me.” That statement made me feel so much better that I got my point across.

Some of my friends aren’t so lucky.

The reason for my concern is because one of my friends was devastated this week upon learning their child took their own life.

I think Donna Lee would want me to say something about this. She would never want anyone to go through what she is going through, not even her enemy. Her heartbreak is visible through her strength, everyone can see this. Donna wants everyone to know that suicide is real and so is the struggle. It happened to her. It happened to someone she gave birth to, and I can’t even imagine her sorrow.

How I can best help is by sharing a pledge from one of the biggest suicide prevention and awareness advocate I know, Boone Culter. Boone created this pledge and people all over the world abide by it. Myself included. Check out Boone’s Spartan Pledge YouTube.

The Spartan Pledge asks you not to take your life by your own hand and to find another mission. It’s pretty simple, but not easy. Call someone who can help you work yourself through your issue and join the mission to end suicide. Choose life. That’s my addition to it. Choose life.

Donna Lee would want me to tell you all that.

If you are feeling suicidal please call 1.800.273.8255. Then follow that up with a visit to you mental health provider as soon as possible.

One thing I can’t stress enough is if you are feeling like ending your life, be honest with you mental health provider. This is something they need to know as part of your treatment plan. Get help if you need it, take care of your mental health. It takes strength to battle your demons. I have faith and believe in you, I know you are scared by you’ve got this. Ask for help.

I can’t take anymore mother’s crying. Any child who commits suicide truly breaks our hearts.

I am begging and imploring you to Choose Life.

Do Black Lives Matter on the Green Line?

As an Army Veteran who happens to be both Black and female, when I look back at my cumulative experience in serving my country I look at my service a little differently. Like Chris Rock, in his special Kill The Messenger, I look at the government as someone who paid my way through college but molested me (figuratively and possibly literally). I’m proud of my service but it would be untrue if I say I haven’t been resentful of bad treatment and inequality of a place that is supposed represent those very qualities.

Life isn’t fair and now I have to move on.

By taking those experiences that have value to the present course of my life, I have had to economize and take what is really important. Something that transcends civilizations and infuses cultures with positivity and wisdom. I’m lucky I was able to locate that experience just in the nick of time. I’m going to share with you the lesson that saved my life many moons ago:

The ability to be optimistic in a FUBAR situation.

It’s happening as we speak.

It’s now time to inventory our toolkits and find a path for everyone to come out in the other side. Right now, I don’t care if you are magenta polka dot, we all need to be on the same page by respecting each other. I don’t care if you like each other or not. Yeah, I said it. Work together…NOW.

I say this not because I’m enlightened but because I’m practical. The sooner we get this right by being the people who can show the least of us how to treat all you meet humanely, the sooner we can get to serving our soul purpose.

How we do this is placing ourselves in someone else’s shoes. If you wouldn’t like it done to you then don’t behave badly to someone else.

What is required is a change of perspective, it’ll do the mind some good.

Sharing an interesting article on a Black Mans perspective in serving our country. It’s not an easy journey and in requires us to listen.

Tough conversations; addressing the past to improve our future > Vandenberg Air Force Base > Display
— Read on www.vandenberg.af.mil/News/Commentaries/Display/Article/2226762/tough-conversations-addressing-the-past-to-improve-our-future/

Do unto others…

The concerned mother in me came out yesterday in the most unexpected way. While I was on my staycation, with my own kids at home.

Sometimes you need time off without your kids. That’s a fact.

I spent my entire day at the Retro Pool at the Sahara Hotel and Casino yesterday. From check in until the pool closed, I was there. I have missed the pool that much.

I had the pleasure of meeting Hanna, a very strong mother who raised a young woman who uses her intellect effectively and will set the world on fire with her passion to positively influence the world to be a better society.

Her name is McKenna.

She was celebrating her 21st birthday. A month after that momentous day, better late than never, I say. I brought my daughter cannabis when she turned 21. I consider this moment to be a rite of passage.

Today was different because unlike the last time I was able to lay out at the pool, the overwhelming topic of conversation was police brutality and injustice. It is starting to be a recurring theme, all day…everyday.

Sigh.

So we got to talking and turns out McKenna doesn’t tolerate injustice and is looking for a path to change that shit. She was out protesting in her hometown to support the #BlackLivesMatter movement. I understand those who protest and I support you.

However, I fear for your safety. I fear agitators who antagonist peace who wants conflict; I fear the pile of bricks that are placed in front of protesters, there to goad and provoke someone into throwing one and chaos ensuing until it consumes everything. That’s what they want. Do not give it to them.

What we are going to do, is find a way to protest that is effective and will absolutely get the point across. Find a way that will leave no doubt that racial and gender injustice must end. Period.

So let’s all put our thinking caps on and find a way to peacefully protest. Writing and contacting your elected officials is one way. Something tells me we are going to have to get in their ass. Make them know that we are watching what they are doing. Require all law enforcement officers wear mandatory body cams with serious consequences for having missing footage when their story is in conflict with recorded evidence. How we do this, is for law enforcement officers to stop standing behind their scumbag colleagues, cleaning up your house and stop behaving as if you are above the law.

McKenna, how you change injustice is by shining light on the issue and a commitment to positively impact the end goal. Then you put that issue in the face of you elected officials. All in their faces. Keep it there until they change their perspective.

In the meantime, write that story about your mom and driving all those women home so they wouldn’t have to walk in unsafe conditions. Hanna changed someone else’s world and taught you to do the same. That’s how you protest, like a bad bitch.

p,s. Don’t forget to vote…

Guess Who Hosted the 1st Second Monday?

That would be me and I was so excited!

CVA’s first, “2nd Monday” Veteran Development Series in the books! Watch as experienced veterans discuss tips to start a new career path enhance your chances to land your next job.. Those Panelists included Airforce veteran, “Conversations with a Twist” host, and Senior Certified HR Professional Niecy Walker. Airforce Veteran and current member on Nevada’s Advisory Committee at U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, Wendell Blaylock. Lastly, Kevin Panet used his 21 years of Human Resources Management experience to discuss how older workers can find a job in today’s market. Great Q&A and feedback from Jess Sanchez and Georgia Curinga Enjoy, and join us next time. Special thanks to Luis Vega of CVA Nevada for hosting!

I had the best time moderating this amazing panel! Their level of expertise is amazing and if you are looking for work, polishing your resume skills or seeking a new career make sure you check out this video!

Meeting Recording:
https://standtogether.zoom.us/rec/share/uPF7IZut1l1Oa4GWymzxRr8YDNvBT6a8hnMa_6JbykYecFaVgOP40W0ytletB4um

Cooler Heads…

19SeventySix Coaching

I can’t stop myself from crying, I don’t recognize this country right now.

This week has been a revelation to me. I’m ways that are both good and bad to the collective consciousness. In this time of darkness, I do hold hope for the future. I hold hope that we can have an HONEST discussion of the issues that are driving these violent protests.

One of the issues that is dogging us as a society is the way we are stereotyping people. Protestors are doing it to cops, cops stereotype citizens everyday. How we are dealing with each other as people is a consequence of the stereotypes we all have about every race in America.

We are doing a bad job listening to each other and we need to do better. RIGHT NOW.

Take a moment at this time and listen to me.

According to Vogue Sewing, the writer makes the specific point “Remember that colors should never be seen as isolated entities, but in relation to each other.” That’s where we are going wrong. We see each other as separate, when we should be working together.

Is racism a real issue? HELL YES racism is a real issue. I have personally dealt with it in my life from people who I thought were friends. My friends deal with it at work and at the store when we get “extra scrutiny” to make sure no theft is taking place, and society as a whole deals with it when a police officer brutalizing a class of people because we have allowed them to get away with it. I don’t believe I have live a day in my entire life without being subjected to some form of racism, and neither can you.

That has to change RIGHT NOW.

This starts with Law Enforcement Officers. Part of the reason why you are held in distain is some communities is your INSISTENT NEED to stand behind the badge when your brothers and sisters are behaving like the animals you are supposed to be protecting the citizens from. Your actions tell us you don’t wish to be held accountable when you are wrong, especially when you are dead wrong. You’ll just go along because of peer pressure and I can’t respect that. Neither can anyone else. In this case, bad apples are ruining the bunch of you. Respect must be earned, start earning it by cleaning your house of the garbage that pollutes it in the form of scumbags you work with.

For looters and criminals who are hoping to use this time by committing crimes against your brothers and sisters and businesses that are staples to your communities, bless your hearts. I hope you are prosecuting to the fullest extent of the law, mans and God’s. Shame on you for taking a crisis and behaving badly. Someone is seeing what you doing, whether it’s surveillance or God. I hope you have an excellent excuse for doing what you are doing. I urge you to stop, please.

To the communities that are protesting inequality and injustice have some work to do too. The violent protests have got to end. PERIOD. I get the fact you are pissed off at our government. I can’t think of a day when I don’t think our government has failed it’s citizens in ways we aren’t aware of at this time. Our government is not going to save us. WE HAVE TO SAVE OURSELVES. We can start by participating in government. It’s amazing what they think they can get away with when no one is looking. START LOOKING. Look how your official are doing their jobs, pay attention to how they vote and for goodness sake: government officials will be trying their best to govern without comment from their constituents using the excuse of “Social distancing”. That only goes so far. We need to start recalling people from office who vote and govern for their personal gain, their voting record will tell you everything you need to know. Let them know you see what they are doing.

Cooler heads have to prevail. As long as you can’t see where someone is coming from you will never be able to understand them. When you feel the need to judge someone according to race or social class, please think about this one statement:

Walk a mile in their shoes.

If you can get through the 5,280 feet without a change in perspective, then you are doing it wrong.

We get through the first step of this process with a change of perspective. Do your own research, we all have to stop blindly believing and ask questions. More on that another time. Blessings…

Yesterday…

Psalms 31:24

Yesterday, I cried.

Yesterday, two of my greatest nightmares in life were in my face, up close and in person.

One was I cried in public, the other that it was recorded on Zoom. This morning, I was mortified until coming to the clearest realization in my life…

I am going to have to get the fuck over it. Seriously.

The reason for the torrent of my tears is a simple one: my heart is breaking from what I am seeing happening in my country. I can’t believe what I’m witnessing and I have no words.

But as my friend Markeis said, I am not sorry for expressing my emotion. Neither am I.

Police violence and injustice is WRONG. We need to change laws to make Law Enforement Officials accountable for their behavior instead of hiding and running behind their badge whenever they behave like the animals they are supposed be protecting citizens from. I urge the City of Minneapolis and the State of Minnesota to do the right thing. Now is the worst time in the history of the world to be caught on camera doing the wrong thing. If the state’s autopsy on Mr. Floyd is an indication on the lengths government officials will cover up wrongdoing, I urge you to consider one, small but important fact: your name is on all documentation and paperwork. Your decision needs to stand the test of time. Will it be able to?

The protesters who are inciting violence by shooting people, looting and burning businesses, and taking advantage of the misery of others also need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I understand your frustration of not being heard. We all do, but violence will never solve that in the long run. NEVER. The only thing it will do is make a bad situation worse. Please stop violently protesting.

What should we do? Besides prayer, the only solution available is simple. We need to put our thinking caps on and figure out a way to protest without the use of violence. It’s more important now more than ever.

Any ideas?

Doc Bunny