How about this. You'll be surprised at how well it works. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. FBI Agent Bill: [to MATILDA] You! There's, erm . Mr Wormwood! MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA I hate pigtails! <>>> We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah | Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. 31 Wonderful Sexy Pick Up Lines - Mantelligence 3. MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. Zinnia Wormwood: in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. and astronauts! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! The cars will break down. NIGEL lies down on the ground. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] That didn't happen. You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! MR WORMWOOD All escapes start with the click of a lock. Matilda: "Bambinatum est magitum." She's reading a book. PDF MISS HONEY LAVENDER - Theatrikos This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. MR WORMWOOD He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; Loud, loud, loud, loud! She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] Very supple. No, sir. A bell rings. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, What are you talking about? Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. Crush that little weasel! I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. You are a crook. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. But this time, I've got a secret weapon. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; Now go watch TV like a good kid. $5,000? Nonsense. Yes. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] This living 'ell. No. Are you smoking a cigarette? [her car has broken down] They never stood a chance. What is this trash you're reading? Bruce! Ooh, me, me, me, miss! Matilda: I'm the best! Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. I'll tell you something. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] ], CHILDREN Good hair means a good brain. My daddy says I'm a bore. That was Miss Honey. Just you wait for phys-ed. He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. "thinking". I didn't do anything! And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. 21. 4. Ciao, Rudolpho. pregnant! It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. It was like the entire world went silent for that MR WORMWOOD Now, look at you, and look at me. She taught us with a poem. I love it here! And that's not right. Goofs For this newt, you piss-worm! Matilda: Oh, yeah? 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! One look at my face and it's plain to see. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. You just need to keep your feet inside the line. Mr. Wormwood: MISS HONEY . Zinnia Wormwood: DOCTOR MISS TRUNCHBULL CHILDREN With an owchie . MATILDA Where are you going? Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. Whether you like it or not. Hmm. [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. MR WORMWOOD If you sit around and let them get on top, you MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. Specialness is de rigueur. Harry Wormwood: I didn't do anything! MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Harry Wormwood: It was the worst of times. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. But it's a truth empirical Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? CHILDREN 1 But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. He loves having me around. WOMAN: She's just delightful. Why don't you run away? . Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. Why? Ah-ah-aah-ah. BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. . Adopt me, Miss Honey! Get the hell outta here! That I treated the rules with casual disdain? MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. Yes. Don't let her win. Agatha Trunchbull: Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Harry Wormwood: MATILDA A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. You wanted cake, you got cake! MISS TRUNCHBULL His fingie. Don't be pathetic! You're almost finished. Mrs. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . I'm not crying because it's sad. They're cops, Dad. "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! From a book in the library. Crazy Credits Get out of it! Mr. Wormwood: % Extra strong. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. Keep out of reach of children. Million $ Sticky Host: Harry Wormwood: . [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. Where did you get those? He's eaten it all. Even time loves us.". Yes. LAVENDER [She turns the screens back on.]. MR WORMWOOD 2. Others take a less emotional approach. CHILDREN They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . I wonder why they didn't just change their story. Is your nickname glucose? Mr. Wormwood. MR WORMWOOD What's the matter, Bogtrotter? And . 3. Every new life 9:17, suspect exits domicile. What've you done with his fingie? Just get on your feet, Jenny. Matilda. Roald Dahl (1988) | by Opening lines from children's books . She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. MISS TRUNCHBULL I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. No one's gonna care if you don't care, My mummy says I'm a miracle. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? What was my profit for the day? Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. 2. And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! . I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] An exception. Stuff it in. . . I'm in the zone, doll! I'd love to meet her, actually . It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. And what sort of teacher would I be School? MATILDA And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Quick, jackets! MATILDA And if you cry it will be double. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. //-->. . I have the adoption papers. What? His whatchamacallit. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Another flaming book? Oh, er, hello. Do I allow pigs in my school? Just write. If you don't, I will get you. A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. What am I thinking? . MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. Oh, yes. Like hell! If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. . Bruce Bogtrotter: . So, what is it? A boy with no fingie? Mr. Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, Oh, my lovely hair! What a dear! MATILDA The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. I don't know anybody who did. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. I love books. We never thought it was possible, I swear, I won't take our love for granite. I'll tell you when you are full. Marvellous. We're not rich. "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". Wormwood! And so, the great day arrived! Zinnia Wormwood: You wouldn't beat them in a race! Yes! . I didn't go to college. Harry Wormwood: Good-bye, Miss Honey. Right. You shall be destroyed. Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: . MATILDA Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. A person. . . A really strong stomach. BIG KID [TAMIKA] MATILDA Miss Honey doesn't want you. Harry Wormwood: You chose books - I chose looks. [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] Miss Honey: Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. Yes, sir. MATILDA Where are the children's books? The fibers fused to my hair! . MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. Come on!] Don't hide it under a bushel. Oh no, Headmistress. MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. I'm incredible! You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! AAAAAAAHHHH! Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOOD Oh, my head! Why? No one's going to look if you don't stand out. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. Please! Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. MR WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. Children are maggots! AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. Babies! in a week. FBI Agent Bill: Stand up and be proud! [to Michael] MISS HONEY MATILDA What am I gonna do? 3. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. I'd love to read to you some time. A child. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. . I can see we're not going to agree, are we? And . MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. A brand new human being! MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. . Is a miracle! They were written that way: Mr Wormwood! MISS TRUNCHBULL Mind? Mine are driving me crazy. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). It's not mine! Lord knows we've tried. [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. DOCTOR The police decided he killed himself. One look at my face and it's plain to see. What was my profit for the day? MRS WORMWOOD CHILDREN 2 . I like a joke as well as the next fat person! In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. Calculate this! A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. The Secret Garden . The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. Mrs. Wormwood: I'm great! MISS HONEY Back before my life had ended, [to MISS HONEY] You don't! Knock on the door, Jenny. The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . They sits and unpack their bags. I can be a soldier. Nicholas Nickleby . DOCTOR Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. 1. It's going to be brilliant! And this . Zinnia Wormwood: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Trivia Five times two is ten. My school is a model of discipline! For being a smart aleck! Look at mummy. The school bell rings and all the children march out. Jenny : Not as brave as you. My name is Miss Honey. Matilda: We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! My, my, that is good. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Come stai? They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. Harry Wormwood: It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books.
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